what I really want.

     TO FASHION BLOG :(( UGGGGGGH NURSING.

colors and promises

    2 hours from now, we are exactly 4 months in number, counting off the first time I saw you, a year and 4, that I felt different from you from other brads, 2 months after that I realized I like you, 3 months later love you. 

    How should I start. We've been not each others greatest for the past few days, but we never went to sleep through it without fixing it in the end of the day, not an option, a choice. It's been tiring to feel so heavy and burden inside knowing that we ruined each other's day without intentionally doing it, but that doesn't really mainly to be worry of, its much scarier that the other person would fade. I don't wanna fade, I was rooting that you would never too, and it didn't. :)

   As I sit here, thinking, I weigh things, and I astonishly highlighted mind with the things we have done greatly that matters most, nothing else was sort for the attention. We have done so much for each other, You have done so much buggy, going with me back home was a thing that I would not trade for any moment. It was really special how you sincerely extended your stay, priceless and I wish I could do the same.

    Thinking of those things, faded all the anger and madness my mind was escalading ( exag ). Really, a smile came off. I thought of the times we first dated last summer, how I realize right now how PDA we where at bubblebea tea! it still amazes me how we like same things, countless I cant remember from pizza to the wafer dark chocolate etc.




Happy 4th baby :)

through the days, through the nights

     Its been in a month since I last blog. Let's just say I was bloving ( blog -grieving ).  I know that the priority ( word I have been hearing for the whole day from hospital duty ) was to express my inner introvertness here, I mean, what are blogs are for? Let's say I feel private about what's going on in my life right now, or as of the moment. I lost my grandma, who I grew up with and very close to last month, I can't believe its been a month, I mean she was not usual self for 3 years ---- long story short I felt grieving, and by that means not wanting to think and talk about it, ( unhealthy ).

  Her death was beautiful. She lived a beautiful life. She loves us all. I've been wanting to see her in my dreams, I even ask for it, I'd be not scared, but I guess she wants us not to be sad for she's gone but to be happy that she peacefully rested and moved on with life with God.

   I love you Ama. My bestfriend & my superhero & my other mother.



PS: I try not to cry at night for you when my mind is set to be at peace.